I had a dream....

I had a dream from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.

Surrendering all...again

I got the honour of house sitting for this Christian couple who have built an amazing house and retired here. Their house is located on one of the best beaches, has great security and someone to do the washing up!

I breathed.

I relaxed

I smiled

I wasn’t in survival mode for just a moment. I was able to sleep without fear, without mosquitoes, without stress. I turned off the phone and got away. It was bliss.


I thought of my kids every moment of those five days I was away, but I knew they were in good hands. I surrendered all to God and let Him bless me. It was so easy!

I thought back to my surgery. That moment they were putting me to sleep and God took me to the song ‘I surrender all’ as I tried to ignore the fear. A moment I needed healing for afterwards. A moment I felt puzzled about and asked the common question ‘where were you God?’

I surrendered all in the moment and it went wrong. It didn’t go according to my plan I had made and told God all about. I had made a little box for God to go in and asked Him to colour in the lines. He didn’t. He didn’t go near the box I tried to put Him in. I didn’t follow Jesus’ example of surrendering all and walking to that cross…Jesus didn’t make a box but followed His father willingly.

Still so much to learn.

However when I laid down in the hammock outside this huge beach house, watching a mother and baby whale swim by, doing tricks and bringing a lot of attention to themselves. I once again find myself saying those three little words that hold meaning. ‘I surrender all.’

With surrendering all it means following Him where He leads. It means adventures, extreme joy, extreme heartache, dreaming big and falling more and more in Love with my Saviour.

He is on the move, so I am too.

God is closing the chapter of me living In Pemba. He is leading me to England for a new adventure there. What will I do there? I am still not sure. Maybe working full time, maybe education or maybe ministry.

I do know that when I get back in January (date still unknown as ticket still not booked) that I will go on a 6-week maternity nurse course and then hopefully get an 8-week job after that. Beyond that will be a surprise.

My time in Pemba has been one I will never forget. I am so pleased I did it, living the dream with amazing people along side me. My Pemba family will forever be close in my heart and I look forward to future visits and adventures around the world with many of my friends.

I look forward to watching my babies grow up and dreaming big for them. Seeing them walk into their destiny and not letting any limitations hold them back from what God has for them.

I know I will always be learning lessons from Pemba. My time has been a blessing and I know Pemba will forever be blessing those who step foot on the red dirt soil.

But for now…I will be concentrating on ‘finishing well’ here and continue to be training up my Mozambican friends with all the childcare skills I know. I want to teach anyone who wants to listen about our Saviour, knowing any seed I sow while I’m here will grow. It will be a busy season but I want to finish this part of the race as well as I can.

Prayers in this transition period would be appreciated, as they are much needed! There are many details that need to be sorted out. Also a big thank you to everyone who has supported me during my 4 1/2 years here. Couldn't have done it without you all! 

So all you UK folks out there…Get ready!!! I’m coming!!! Stay posted for more details.

Learning as an 'Akuna'....AKA a foreigner

So this week I managed to single handedly flood a small part of a village. I have to now pass through a village every day to get to the other base where I work. Each day I see a piece of land that no one was using and I always wondered why there wasn’t a house there. One day I decided to use that piece of land to turn around in a car I was using and got stuck in mud very quickly. Unknown to me there was a burst water pipe underground which has made the ground very soft. The car being stuck in the ground then made a great hole for the water to spurt from. This could then not be fixed for a few days. Therefore I did not make eye contact with the villagers for those few days. I am sure I wasn’t in their good books. But I learnt….I will now not be questioning why land was not being used. I am sure there is a good reason.

I have learnt the rules for the road here…use your horn to communicate; it is not just used as a form of aggression. Everyone but you has the right of way. Motorbikes will and do come from all angles, so if your car has side mirrors…use them! The roads generally do not fit two cars so if you see a car coming towards you, get out the way quickly because as I have said…everyone else has the right of way.

I have learnt that the British dry sense of humor gets lost and can often offend unless you are talking with a local who knows you well. Do not try and be funny to a stranger. Especially those in authority over you, like the police or immigration. This will not break the ice. Just no. Don’t do it. Believe me!

I have learnt the language (mostly) that is spoken here. The Portuguese is not really Portuguese you would hear anywhere else in the world. It is mostly pigeon Portuguese, which to me is perfect. I find learning languages really hard to learn. But my local friends here have been very patient with me, and still are.

I have learnt that long leggings are a big no no. Very un-cool. But you can wear bright pink and orange together, chequers and stripes and winter hats in 40-degree weather. Every lady has a handbag and that bag holds respect. No one is to look in that bag but her. If you need something from that bag she will be the one to get it, however close friends you are!

I have learnt that music from years ago is very big and is played all through the night. ‘I found a love in a hopeless place’ is everyone’s favorite. Closely followed by ‘shine bright like a diamond’. However I feel that anyone else in the world but me, knows what new music is a hit right now.

I have learnt not to take running water, electricity and a fridge of food for granted. That crazy stuff can and does happen, but God is always there with you in it so never fear.

I have learnt how to be ok with not knowing the latest trends and tv shows. I have learnt to be ok with eating the same meal 5 nights in a row. I have learnt about living and working in a community, when to open my doors and when to have boundaries. I have learnt how to live with nothing but trusting for needs to be met. I have learnt that in an atmosphere of worship, even those with deaf ears will feel the attraction to draw near into His presence..

This place has changed me for the good, has given me perspective and made me much more secure in myself. This place has made my relationship with God bigger and greater. I learnt that the big God I believe will be there for others, is there for me too. That He makes blind eyes see and deaf ears hear in the natural and the spiritual.

This is place is a great place of learning, particularly because I am a foreigner. However that is something I shouldn’t take for granted, but to use it to go low and slow, to humble myself and forever be in that place of learning.

This place is a gift and it is an honor to be here for such a time as this.

Coffee break...

I am sitting here horribly sleep deprived after looking after our youngest baby of 2 ½ months this last week, due to him having a bad stomach bug. I just dropped him back at the baby house. My dress that was once cute and looked amazing on my sister when it belonged to her, is now very ragged and torn from 4 months of being here. My hair is a mess and all I want is a coffee. I am sitting in a delightful restaurant that is facing the beautiful Indian Ocean trying to just ‘take a moment’. The waiters are nowhere to be seen and I’m not sure if I can stay awake long enough before I get my coffee. My wallet is basically empty and living month to month makes moments like this rare. But the sleep deprived self in me somehow got me here. Village kids are playing /fighting on the beach in front of me. It is the school holidays here right now but one can’t tell if this is a normal everyday event for them. They are waiting for the fisherman to come in to present their daily catch. They help pull in the boat and watch as the fisherman shows what his morning of work has produced.

I sigh. I love my life.

As I was rocking Natanael through out the night this last week, as he was suffering from bad stomach cramps I thought about how I am living my dream. I always wanted to help children in need. Take in babies that have no one and to see a community rise up in knowing who they are in God. I prayed over him during the days and nights, not only for him to get well but also for his future. I prayed for purity and faithfulness and that he would walk in what God has for him as he really was chosen. God saved his life and He wouldn’t just leave him after that. God has plans for him.

What an honour to be part of that miracle! I oversee 21 children, plus training up 14 educators who work in the houses with the kids. I have seen personal miracles in each one of their lives and it’s amazing!

My coffee arrives; it is slightly spilt so I get a nice coffee mug ring on my dress to go with everything else. I don’t care. I sip my coffee as I watch tourists come back to shore after snorkeling this morning. A must for anyone who comes to Pemba. This really is a beautiful country.

In this last month I have lost so much. The bamboo hut Rahab ministries runs in, which was the safe place our girls used to come to each week for an evening off. The land Rahab’s new building would have been, my house and the certainty of being able to live here. The government is starting to control the amount of foreigners that come to live in Pemba as it is starting to get very packed. However that includes missionaries. To live here means you have to fight your corner, show your qualifications and argue that what you are doing here really is helping.

           

Temptation to just pack up and leave sets in.

I started to think. I would only really have enough for a flight to South Africa. Maybe I should go there? But I couldn’t afford to stay there, but I can’t afford to stay here either but that hasn’t stopped me the last four years. What do I want my life to look like? I am almost 30 and that scares me.

Then I remember…I am living the dream God gave me.

I remember those miracles I have witnessed and excited to see the many more we are contending for. Through the hard times and the good times. It was time to focus on the reward...time to focus on Jesus. 

My friends, after years of going to the courts and countless meetings with their lawyers have finally legally adopted their little girl here. She is now six but they have known her since she was days old. She fits into their family so well. She is just like both of them in so many ways. She was set apart just for them.

In all the busyness of dealing with everything that has been going on, it was a breath of fresh air for our community here. A day of celebration.

They had a dream and they never gave up. They prayed and fasted and walked through it all, and they won. They could have given up and gone home to live an easier life. But they kept going and fighting for their child.

What an amazing testimony it is. I love adoption; God speaks so much through it. A reminder that we are adopted even though we have messed up so much. God never gives up on us and we should walk in that identity every day.

Well my coffee cup is empty and I think it’s now time to go home and sleep for the next 24 hours. Thankful to be able to ‘take a moment’ and be reminded once again that I can’t do this, be He can, so we will.

Excited for the miracles that will come tomorrow.

He calls His children home....

Talking about God being in control in the last post, lets talk about last wednesday. Our baptism day.

I all started three Fridays ago when one of our girls in the barraca (Bamboo hut) came up to me and said 'Mana Ruth, I want to be baptised'. This one girl I still remember when we first met. She was totally drunk and came in to the barraca being so loud and demanding attention. We prayed for her and God met her where she was. She ending up sobbing and repenting for all she did. She came back week after week, sometimes drunk, sometimes in her full muslim headdress, sometimes quiet and really tired. She had many times of sobbing and breaking down and many times of reflection. She came to our bible study on wednesdays regularly and gave her life to the Lord.

She has completly changed since that first day we met her and is learning more and more about walking through life as a daughter of God.

So here she is asking to get baptised.

Only God can transform a life so much.

So the following wednesday we do a teaching on baptism and the next week we go to baptise her. We sat in the car for about twenty minuets waiting for her to show up with three of our ladies who also come to our bible study week after week. They themselves got baptised last year. We start to loose hope and plan to do a birthday party instead as two of the three had birthdays recently. Then suddenly, after searching a little, she shows up.

So down to the beach we go. We sit in the sand and teach some more about what God thinks about baptism and what the bible says about it. As we start we suddenly hear people coming towards us..it was two more of the girls that come most friday nights and some wednesdays for bible study. They didn't want to miss out, they also wanted to be baptised!

God calls His children, this ministry is His and may He do what He likes with it. We didn't plan this but what a joy it is when God's in control.

So we ask the three girls who got baptised last year, to baptise the three girls getting baptised that day. It was so beautiful to watch. It was such a joy to see these girls start a new season in Him.

Getting out the way and allowing God to move in His way results in such splendor.

God was in totally control of the whole thing, calling His children into His presence and plan for their lives. What a joy it is to follow our big God.

Thank you for your continued prayer for our ministry on the street, we have currently had to close our bamboo hut as someone bought the land we were on. But we are going around only doing street ministry, which has been going great! Lots of healings and salvations and we have only been doing it for two weeks.

Please do continue to keep praying for Iris Ministries, our team in Pemba, the children and the missionaries. We need it everyday; we need God to show up every day and we need God’s miracles every day.

I have no idea...

Who of you guys feel like the more you grow in God, the more you feel like you have no idea what you are doing?  It seems like the more I surrender to Him, the more unqualified I feel. Yet the more I feel like His daughter and I act less like an orphan.

Sounds strange hey? But the more control He has, the better things go.

Learning once again. Always.

I received some bad news yesterday. My friend and fellow for years died of a hepatitis virus in the night (our early morning, America's night). She had been sent home from hospital as there was nothing they could do. She was taken from this earth earlier than she should have been.

She was part of the admin team for the missions school here, so for three years (2008 – 2011) I emailed her every day. She was such a stable; lovely team member and I will truly miss her.

I assumed she would be around for years. I should have talked to her more over this last year since I last saw her in Pemba in 2012.

Yesterday I was just in shock that she was gone. It was so bizarre how she was alive one day and gone the next. I wept and mourned for the loss of a friend, and as I was doing so, I had a picture of her in heaven standing next to Jesus. They were looking at me and she was asking me why I was crying. She was so happy to be in heaven and to be with Jesus. To be home.

God is totally in control.

I know bad things happen to good people, and I can’t answer why. But I can say God is good, even when I loose a friend. Because right now she isn’t sick anymore and she isn’t in pain. She is dancing with the one true God in freedom and in light.

So may I give more control to Him, even when I feel unqualified. As He is totally qualified and He is all I need.

I can't, He can, We will

The calm before the storm...

Annnnnnnddddddd I’m back. There has been a long delay since I last wrote an update, please don’t be offended. Between preparing for children’s day, children being sick and having IV’s connected with the help of bamboo sticks and an extra 400 people coming on the base for the missions school. It has been a tad busy around here. But I still think of you all, even when I can’t write.

But for now…let me tell you about the day we got Natanael.

It was a normal morning apart from the fact that it was more peaceful. I walked over to work once up and dressed. Got some milk and cookies for my kids on the way from the little bamboo shack that sells all things nice. I enjoyed the sea as it looked like glass; I wanted to go over to walk on it. I enjoyed the fact that I got to walk past the fish tree without the fisherman chatting me up. It was such a peaceful morning. Then suddenly it hit. It was too quiet. I quietly whispered in my head, ‘God…it’s too quiet, today’s going to be crazy isn’t it?’

I stepped onto base and gave the milk and cookies to the baby house, all seemed fine. I was on my way to the toddler house to give them their milk and cookies but I stopped at the children’s office first. There were around ten people outside and others inside. One person was holding what looked just like a piece of capulana (the material skirts African’s use). But wrapped inside was this little bundle, this beautiful baby boy. So vulnerable and only hours old. After a talk with our children’s director they all got in the car and went to social services.

Then started my craziness.

I got into the baby house and started preparing…’Tia’s, we are getting a newborn, prepare bottles, prepare the bed, get clothes…this is not a drill!’ And about 30 minuets later this tiny bundle turns up at our door. He’s handed to me and the family leaves to sort the body of his mother.

Sadly the mother died during birth because she was at home alone while she was in labor. She was found soon after by her family on the floor, with this precious baby laying next to her in the dirt…still attached to her.

We clean him up as he was covered in dirt and take him straight to the local clinic. His umbilical cord was re-tied as the family had tied it with a piece of capulana. He is weighed (1.5kg) and then given his first bottle of milk, which he didn’t really take to start with.

We wait for our ride back to the base and as I am doing this I stare at him, worshiping God and thanking Him that he saved Natanael’s life. I am reminded of the story of Samuel and how he was set apart for God. I then named him Nathaniel as that means ‘chosen by God.’ In Portuguese his name is Natanael.

Later that day we decided he will come home with me for a couple of nights until we can sort our Tia’s and make sure there is someone just for him. During my first night with him I don’t sleep until 3:30am as he suddenly decides that night that he is actually hungry and would like to start feeding. A relief to all! As I sit up with him I keep worship all night, I pray with him, I mourn the loss of his mother with him and pray all the trauma off him. I look at him and see such a vulnerable, small person that has been set apart for a big, grand purpose.

He is a son of the great big God.

Other things happened that day on our base. One of our Tia’s husband died, one of our children was getting set free and having demonic fits. Our department head was still mourning the loss of her brother, that died very suddenly the week before so she was crying on and off throughout the whole day.

It was a crazy day for all, but new life happened. New promises and new declarations.  The 6^th June will always be remembered. I for one will not remember it for the chaos and death. But for our new little gift.

Natanael.

Home....

I'm home and I'm happy :)

Another week, where it's just one week....

Do I dare write this? I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I'm unsure if I can muster up the courage. My flight date is next Tuesday. Come the 15^th April I might actually be getting on the plane to go back to where I call home. I know I have written many posts like this in the past so you might not believe me. I don’t know if I believe myself.

All bags are packed (and have been since Feb), my DIRE (residency card) and the letter for that are tightly together with my plane ticket and passport. I have a one-way ticket so going to be 100% in God’s hands for my return date. This is it. Wow. Still get nervous saying it. Not more GP visits, no more hospital stays. No more emergencies. All tropical illnesses are gone and I am getting stronger, and fatter. :)

This has been the craziest New-Year I have ever experienced, but I survived and have come out of the whole thing praising God once again for His goodness and faithfulness.

Pemba has recently been struck by a cyclone, the devastation from that has been horrific. People have sadly died from their houses falling on them during the night and many have lost every possession they had. Iris has opened up their church building for people to sleep in and are working with those locally to rebuild their houses and provide food.

Please be praying for Iris and the locals during this time. Pray for those suffering after losing loved ones and that disease that can come from flooding stay far away! Many have been getting dengue fever and malaria since the rivers and puddles have provided a perfect environment for mosquitoes.  

Ready to hit the ground running, ready to see my babies and friends from the villages again, ready to see my Iris family. I am even ready for rice and beans again. After just over 5 months, I am ready. I am surrendered to God, I willingly have given my live to him. I trust in His timing, and I am excited for the possibility that next week will be it!

Please pray for me during my traveling, that everything will run smoothly. Come the end of May I have to renew my DIRE once again, which is quite a big cost. So prayer for provision would be lovely. As well as continued good health and strength for this next season.

Thank you once again for all those who pray for me and cheer me on. I couldn’t do this without you all, who I call my family.

What a beautiful View...

When I was in hospital, I was on a ward that had a great view of the Kingston area and beyond. The window was wide and we were high up on the 7^th floor, higher than any surrounding buildings. It became a great talking point for any visitor. I was on very strong antibiotics and painkillers, trying to get over the operation. To say I wasn’t very sociable was an understatement. Each time the nurse came to me, or I lost my lunch…’oh what an amazing view’ was announced by any around. Those who came each day got to know that view of by heart. It became very comical. 

It was also a great view for me at night-time when I was kept awake by fellow patients. The lights shinning bright from the streets near and far. I love views of cities at night-time. 

One of the first things I did when I was starting to walk once again was to check out the view properly. It really was amazing and a great distraction from the pain standing was bringing.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since I smelt the sweet freedom of the outside world of the hospital. Much progress has happened; I’m walking around, in less daily pain. I’m down to one bandage and my stomach muscles are coming back! You never know how much you need them until you loose them! In this physical healing there has been emotional healing as well. When a lot has been lost, you have to choose faith more than ever before. You have to battle the flesh to receive what God has for you. This has caused many times of falling over, but God picks me up every time.

‘Blessed are those who are poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God’. (Matthew 5)

I once had to write an essay in my missions school back in 2007. We had to choose our favorite beatitude and say why. I chose that one without really understanding it. I just liked the reward to be truthful. I looked at all the beatitudes and saw what each one reaped, and this one looked like the best. So, while I wrote the essay I asked God to make me poor in spirit.

I now understand it.

This season has allowed me to understand what being poor in spirit really looks like. God is the only way. I'm in a place where I had lost control of many things in my life. I couldn’t bath myself, go as I please, use my phone to communicate or choose when I would like to leave for Pemba. But that view. It was beautiful. As I sat there in my bed, trying to process those last 6 weeks. Two operations, taken to hospital 4 times as emergency, changing my ticket three times, loosing much money in the process, loosing time with many loved ones while in England and not being able to get back to Pemba. My faith was the only thing that got me through it. He loved me through it, he saved my life, he sent the right people at the right time and gave me the best view in the hospital. He is my hero.

'I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me'

Without God I am nothing. I am thankful God has taught me this through such a whirlwind of a season. What a reward to gain. I am all about those rewards in God! :) To loose all is to gain everything. May I keep on learning.

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,

firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My Comforter, my All in All,

here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh

Fulness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones he came to save:

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied -

For every sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain:

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave he rose again!

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,

For I am His and He is mine -

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath.

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Hot mess...running to Him.

Well….once again my return back to Pemba has been delayed. I was taken into A&E 4 days before I was due to fly with the same pain in my stomach that I had before, and after two days of tests and observations I was taken into emergency surgery with a burst appendix. This surgery was meant to be keyhole but they ended up having to open me up as it was more complicated than they thought.

I am once again back at my parents recovering from this operation. No surgeon was able to say how long this will take but I am leaning and trusting on God for His true timing. Pemba is still my home and I am looking forward to when I am better and I can feel the red dirt in-between my toes once again.

I am going to be honest with you, I have faced many emotions through this whole thing. 2014 hasn’t been the easiest start of any year and I am feeling a bit battered and bruised. When I went into the surgery I was feeling very peaceful up to the point when they were putting me to sleep. I started to get nervous as it became more realistic that this was actually happening. I turned to God and ask for help. He reassured me that He was with me and gave me the song ‘I surrender all’.

Surrendering all to Him looks like many different things and can be done in many ways. But the end goal is the same. Giving it ALL to Him. I can’t say I have understood this season very much but I am surrendering the need to and learning to trust more. I haven’t been very strong physically these past few months but He is strong in me. So I am surrendering to Him and leaning on Him and His joy. Emotionally I am struggling with homesickness, but every day is an adventure with Him and that’s the life I want to surrender to. I want to give it all and have a life completely devoted to Him.

When I read the bible of people like Esther, David, John the Baptist and Moses I get a spring in my step of excitement as the deep friendship they have with God is shown through each verse. As they walk their lives with God, as He leads them into new places you read about the joys and the miracles and the love that comes out of giving it all and going for what He has.

May I never feel happy with the amount I have surrendered to God. May I never keep anything back from Him, but instead run deeper and deeper into His love and friendship.

My time in the UK from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.

One week...

One week!!! As I sit here writing this I have one week until I fly. One week left of hot showers and comfy beds without mosquito nets. One week of good nutritious food and good coffee. One week until I get to see my babies again. One week until I get to minister on the streets again with my friends. One week until I see my Iris family again. One week until I leave for home.  

I really appreciate your prayers during this time. Not only for me but for those in Pemba at the moment. They have all been through quite a tough season, so would be lovely if you can raise them up in prayer. 

Please do keep in touch while I am back home. Would love to continue hearing what you are all up to and what God is doing in your lives! 

It was wonderful seeing some of you face to face while I was in England....thank you for your kindness, hospitality and the love and prayers that was poured into me while I was resting, recovering and getting filled up before being sent back out. 

For now...excitement as I spend my birthday packing and getting on an airplane. This valentines day is going to be an adventure with my sweet Jesus.  

Love and prayers,

Ruth 

Back I go again…

Saturday morning I wake up with a slight bruised feeling, however seeing as I sleep with many covers, waking up feeling squashed isn’t a new thing. As the day went on the pain became less bruised and more…well…pain. It was more located in one place and moving around became more difficult. So…back I go. I am hospitalised once again with an expected appendicitis.

As I traveled to hospital with the worship music blaring I was clinging on to God with all I had. I was not going to go through another operation, for my return date to Pemba to be delayed even longer. I just couldn’t do it. The day before I had just finished packing, I was ready to leave. Having an operation wasn’t an option. No No No!

I phoned and messaged people to get the message out to pray. I asked my family in Christ to rise up with me in prayer against this. And it was beautiful to watch those prayers come into being. I was out two days later with the doctors unable to say what the pain and sickness was, but happy it wasn’t my appendix. I am feeling much better and resting well at home.

For now…No more going to hospital please! Being admitted three times plus two appointments, before the end of January isn’t a great way of starting 2014.

I was slightly embarrassed to be returning to the same place so soon, one of the surgeons recognised me straight away. I was even more embarrassed with the effect the morphine had on me. The doctor wasn’t too sure what to say when I told him I lived in a bamboo hut. Thankfully my mother was there to correct all the questions the doctor asked me about my living conditions in England. Seriously….why ask me anything when I have just had powerful pain killers? I get weird when I am ill without the drugs, as my friends and family well know. I even had a message from one of my dear friends asking me to message her as soon as I have had the painkillers. I think she knew she would get some entertainment. :)

I could repeat all I wrote on the last blog entry when I left the hospital last time. I still know I am in God’s hands with all I do, as He leads. I also know I am in a spiritual warfare and praying matters. Fighting with intercession is a needed part of everyday life. The more I placed my focus on worship as I was traveling to the hospital, the more peace and joy took over. I knew I would be ok in His hands, whatever happens. I am ok. He is still good and I am still His daughter. I wasn’t alone.

Praise God for all He is in the everyday things.

Never give up...

His plans...

On the 7^th January I was sitting in hospital, on oxygen, an IV and taking many medications, pondering, ‘but I was meant to be on a plane today returning home’. I was too ill to want to leave the hospital, I was very happy to be where I was while in that state. But I didn’t want to be in that state. I wanted to be on a plane. Feeling well. Why were my plans not happening? What was God doing?

Not once did I not trust God in what He was doing and the way He was going to make me well. I knew that good would come from this. But I couldn’t help but think of home and ask God what these weeks would look like in His eyes, while I was in and out of sleep.

Today my strength is picking up, the voice has returned and I can eat a meal in less than an hour, which is a big achievement! The best thing is that without those horrible, swollen tonsils in my throat, I feel freedom. There is so much joy in knowing it’s over.

Done.

Fin.

Acabado.

My throat is healed. Yes God used the good doctors for this. But oh my there is so much gratitude for my lovely Heavenly father.

One of my biggest joys, yet my biggest heart break that comes with my role in my ministry is holding the sick. Whenever one of my babies is ill there is a role and responsibility that comes to getting them better again. Fighting for them and loving them through it. We always start by getting the other babies, toddlers and the educators around them to pray. We don't always see a miracle from the word go, but there is something so powerful in declaring that this child is Gods, they are not to be sick any more. Jesus come and be in control. He has never failed to show up in these times of need with His healing power, as well as in the general day to day events. 

The more I get to know Jesus, the more I feel secure in the not knowing. The better I am at letting go of control. He is my hero and each day is an adventure with Him, surrounded in His love. 

The very worst missionary….

Loving this girls blog! Take a read or watch her interview on how she became the 'very worst missionary'

http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com

What a start to the new year….

Well I am home…

Thank you all who prayed for me while I was in hospital. For those who didn't know I was there…nothing serious…just needed some extra care after having my tonsils out. I am still feeling it so this will be short and sweet.

Just to say all is well…and now to look to a few more doctors appointments and then home to Pemba!