Coffee break...

I am sitting here horribly sleep deprived after looking after our youngest baby of 2 ½ months this last week, due to him having a bad stomach bug. I just dropped him back at the baby house. My dress that was once cute and looked amazing on my sister when it belonged to her, is now very ragged and torn from 4 months of being here. My hair is a mess and all I want is a coffee. I am sitting in a delightful restaurant that is facing the beautiful Indian Ocean trying to just ‘take a moment’. The waiters are nowhere to be seen and I’m not sure if I can stay awake long enough before I get my coffee. My wallet is basically empty and living month to month makes moments like this rare. But the sleep deprived self in me somehow got me here. Village kids are playing /fighting on the beach in front of me. It is the school holidays here right now but one can’t tell if this is a normal everyday event for them. They are waiting for the fisherman to come in to present their daily catch. They help pull in the boat and watch as the fisherman shows what his morning of work has produced.

I sigh. I love my life.

As I was rocking Natanael through out the night this last week, as he was suffering from bad stomach cramps I thought about how I am living my dream. I always wanted to help children in need. Take in babies that have no one and to see a community rise up in knowing who they are in God. I prayed over him during the days and nights, not only for him to get well but also for his future. I prayed for purity and faithfulness and that he would walk in what God has for him as he really was chosen. God saved his life and He wouldn’t just leave him after that. God has plans for him.

What an honour to be part of that miracle! I oversee 21 children, plus training up 14 educators who work in the houses with the kids. I have seen personal miracles in each one of their lives and it’s amazing!

My coffee arrives; it is slightly spilt so I get a nice coffee mug ring on my dress to go with everything else. I don’t care. I sip my coffee as I watch tourists come back to shore after snorkeling this morning. A must for anyone who comes to Pemba. This really is a beautiful country.

In this last month I have lost so much. The bamboo hut Rahab ministries runs in, which was the safe place our girls used to come to each week for an evening off. The land Rahab’s new building would have been, my house and the certainty of being able to live here. The government is starting to control the amount of foreigners that come to live in Pemba as it is starting to get very packed. However that includes missionaries. To live here means you have to fight your corner, show your qualifications and argue that what you are doing here really is helping.

           

Temptation to just pack up and leave sets in.

I started to think. I would only really have enough for a flight to South Africa. Maybe I should go there? But I couldn’t afford to stay there, but I can’t afford to stay here either but that hasn’t stopped me the last four years. What do I want my life to look like? I am almost 30 and that scares me.

Then I remember…I am living the dream God gave me.

I remember those miracles I have witnessed and excited to see the many more we are contending for. Through the hard times and the good times. It was time to focus on the reward...time to focus on Jesus. 

My friends, after years of going to the courts and countless meetings with their lawyers have finally legally adopted their little girl here. She is now six but they have known her since she was days old. She fits into their family so well. She is just like both of them in so many ways. She was set apart just for them.

In all the busyness of dealing with everything that has been going on, it was a breath of fresh air for our community here. A day of celebration.

They had a dream and they never gave up. They prayed and fasted and walked through it all, and they won. They could have given up and gone home to live an easier life. But they kept going and fighting for their child.

What an amazing testimony it is. I love adoption; God speaks so much through it. A reminder that we are adopted even though we have messed up so much. God never gives up on us and we should walk in that identity every day.

Well my coffee cup is empty and I think it’s now time to go home and sleep for the next 24 hours. Thankful to be able to ‘take a moment’ and be reminded once again that I can’t do this, be He can, so we will.

Excited for the miracles that will come tomorrow.