I am sitting on the wall of our outside pavilion, praying and worshiping before our church service starts. God was talking so clearly. I felt like my mind was being renewed as He reminded me all over again how much He loves me. He was taking me to those places of such intimacy that’s created for just me and Him.
As I was sitting, my friend came and sat next to me. I think he thought something was wrong, so he wanted to sit with me out of kindness. Which is a huge thing! This friend and I have been through a lot together. His mental capacity is that of a ten year old, but on top of that he has been through so much trauma in his life. He has gone back to alcohol and drugs time and time again. He goes from living on the streets, to having somewhere nice to stay, to living with those who just steal from him and treat him badly.
This man has threatened me many times, he has thrown bricks at my windows, refused to move from my doorstep when drunk because he has no other safe place to be. He has used my porch as a bathroom and I have had to hold his hand as he was holding a knife to his neck in a state of desperation.
In it all, God has told me to remind him that God has created him to be kind. I always remind him how kind he really is. I have had to let God love him consistently through me, as in my own flesh that was close to impossible. I had to work through having a hard heart towards him so many times. I had to choose to get up and answer the door each time he was banging on it. I had to choose love.
Jesus has chosen me so many times, that how can I deny Him in loving my neighbour as myself? Deny Him in loving His son.
We have had many victories in him, such as when he decided one night to pour his beer out on the street, and go to bed instead of staying up all night drinking.
One night he sat and listened to me read Psalm 139 over him. He sat and took in how His father really sees him. He burst into tears as he knew his need.
One time he sat with my friend and cried out to Jesus in sheer desperation. He knows he can't do anything without Jesus.
While I am sitting outside this pavilion, my kind friend comes and sits with me. He isn't drunk and wants to be a part of this family. He is choosing love. He still isn’t healed and fully whole, but he is trying to choose Jesus, and this is beautiful. It is our hearts that matter.
While he is there, God reminds me of everything I have seen in him. He then shows me a day when he is fully whole. He reminds me that through His blood, His son is washed clean. That these moments with my friend will be testimonies of the past. That my friend’s future is so hopeful.
I start to smile as I can see it.
I can see my kind friend with a whole mind. Healed from all trauma and hurts. Filled with the Holy Spirit. Filled with Joy. I can see us talking about those moments with him having clarity of who Jesus fully is.
During the service my friend sits next to me and colours this wording that he worked hard on.
Jesus knows. Jesus is in it all. Jesus is consistent and His love changes people.