When I was in hospital, I was on a ward that had a great
view of the Kingston area and beyond. The window was wide and we were high up
on the 7th floor, higher than any surrounding buildings. It became a
great talking point for any visitor. I was on very strong antibiotics and painkillers,
trying to get over the operation. To say I wasn’t very sociable was an
understatement. Each time the nurse came to me, or I lost my lunch…’oh what an
amazing view’ was announced by any around. Those who came each day got to know that view of by heart. It became very comical.
It was also a great view for me at night-time when I was kept
awake by fellow patients. The lights shinning bright from the streets near and
far. I love views of cities at night-time.
One of the first things I did when I was starting to walk
once again was to check out the view properly. It really was amazing and a great
distraction from the pain standing was bringing.
Tomorrow marks two weeks since I smelt the sweet freedom of
the outside world of the hospital. Much progress has happened; I’m walking
around, in less daily pain. I’m down to one bandage and my stomach muscles are
coming back! You never know how much you need them until you loose them! In
this physical healing there has been emotional healing as well. When a
lot has been lost, you have to choose faith more than ever before. You have to
battle the flesh to receive what God has for you. This has caused many times of
falling over, but God picks me up every time.
‘Blessed are those who are poor in spirit for theirs is the
kingdom of God’. (Matthew 5)
I once had to write an essay in my missions school back in
2007. We had to choose our favorite beatitude and say why. I chose that one
without really understanding it. I just
liked the reward to be truthful. I looked at all the beatitudes and saw what each
one reaped, and this one looked like the best. So, while I wrote the essay I
asked God to make me poor in spirit.
I now understand it.
This season has allowed me to understand what being poor in
spirit really looks like. God is the only way. I'm in a place where I had lost control of many things in my life. I couldn’t bath myself, go as I please,
use my phone to communicate or choose when I would like to leave for Pemba. But
that view. It was beautiful. As I sat there in my bed, trying to process those last 6 weeks. Two operations, taken to hospital 4 times as emergency,
changing my ticket three times, loosing much money in the process, loosing time
with many loved ones while in England and not being able to get back to Pemba. My faith was the only thing that got me
through it. He loved me through it, he saved my life, he sent the right people at the right time and gave me the best view in the hospital. He is my hero.
'I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me'
Without God I am nothing. I am thankful God has taught me
this through such a whirlwind of a season. What a reward to gain. I am all about
those rewards in God! :) To loose all is to gain everything. May I keep on
learning.
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
