I have no idea...

Who of you guys feel like the more you grow in God, the more you feel like you have no idea what you are doing?  It seems like the more I surrender to Him, the more unqualified I feel. Yet the more I feel like His daughter and I act less like an orphan.

Sounds strange hey? But the more control He has, the better things go.

Learning once again. Always.

I received some bad news yesterday. My friend and fellow for years died of a hepatitis virus in the night (our early morning, America's night). She had been sent home from hospital as there was nothing they could do. She was taken from this earth earlier than she should have been.

She was part of the admin team for the missions school here, so for three years (2008 – 2011) I emailed her every day. She was such a stable; lovely team member and I will truly miss her.

I assumed she would be around for years. I should have talked to her more over this last year since I last saw her in Pemba in 2012.

Yesterday I was just in shock that she was gone. It was so bizarre how she was alive one day and gone the next. I wept and mourned for the loss of a friend, and as I was doing so, I had a picture of her in heaven standing next to Jesus. They were looking at me and she was asking me why I was crying. She was so happy to be in heaven and to be with Jesus. To be home.

God is totally in control.

I know bad things happen to good people, and I can’t answer why. But I can say God is good, even when I loose a friend. Because right now she isn’t sick anymore and she isn’t in pain. She is dancing with the one true God in freedom and in light.

So may I give more control to Him, even when I feel unqualified. As He is totally qualified and He is all I need.

I can't, He can, We will