Hot mess...running to Him.

Well….once again my return back to Pemba has been delayed. I was taken into A&E 4 days before I was due to fly with the same pain in my stomach that I had before, and after two days of tests and observations I was taken into emergency surgery with a burst appendix. This surgery was meant to be keyhole but they ended up having to open me up as it was more complicated than they thought.

I am once again back at my parents recovering from this operation. No surgeon was able to say how long this will take but I am leaning and trusting on God for His true timing. Pemba is still my home and I am looking forward to when I am better and I can feel the red dirt in-between my toes once again.

I am going to be honest with you, I have faced many emotions through this whole thing. 2014 hasn’t been the easiest start of any year and I am feeling a bit battered and bruised. When I went into the surgery I was feeling very peaceful up to the point when they were putting me to sleep. I started to get nervous as it became more realistic that this was actually happening. I turned to God and ask for help. He reassured me that He was with me and gave me the song ‘I surrender all’.

Surrendering all to Him looks like many different things and can be done in many ways. But the end goal is the same. Giving it ALL to Him. I can’t say I have understood this season very much but I am surrendering the need to and learning to trust more. I haven’t been very strong physically these past few months but He is strong in me. So I am surrendering to Him and leaning on Him and His joy. Emotionally I am struggling with homesickness, but every day is an adventure with Him and that’s the life I want to surrender to. I want to give it all and have a life completely devoted to Him.

When I read the bible of people like Esther, David, John the Baptist and Moses I get a spring in my step of excitement as the deep friendship they have with God is shown through each verse. As they walk their lives with God, as He leads them into new places you read about the joys and the miracles and the love that comes out of giving it all and going for what He has.

May I never feel happy with the amount I have surrendered to God. May I never keep anything back from Him, but instead run deeper and deeper into His love and friendship.

My time in the UK from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.