Coffee break...

I am sitting here horribly sleep deprived after looking after our youngest baby of 2 ½ months this last week, due to him having a bad stomach bug. I just dropped him back at the baby house. My dress that was once cute and looked amazing on my sister when it belonged to her, is now very ragged and torn from 4 months of being here. My hair is a mess and all I want is a coffee. I am sitting in a delightful restaurant that is facing the beautiful Indian Ocean trying to just ‘take a moment’. The waiters are nowhere to be seen and I’m not sure if I can stay awake long enough before I get my coffee. My wallet is basically empty and living month to month makes moments like this rare. But the sleep deprived self in me somehow got me here. Village kids are playing /fighting on the beach in front of me. It is the school holidays here right now but one can’t tell if this is a normal everyday event for them. They are waiting for the fisherman to come in to present their daily catch. They help pull in the boat and watch as the fisherman shows what his morning of work has produced.

I sigh. I love my life.

As I was rocking Natanael through out the night this last week, as he was suffering from bad stomach cramps I thought about how I am living my dream. I always wanted to help children in need. Take in babies that have no one and to see a community rise up in knowing who they are in God. I prayed over him during the days and nights, not only for him to get well but also for his future. I prayed for purity and faithfulness and that he would walk in what God has for him as he really was chosen. God saved his life and He wouldn’t just leave him after that. God has plans for him.

What an honour to be part of that miracle! I oversee 21 children, plus training up 14 educators who work in the houses with the kids. I have seen personal miracles in each one of their lives and it’s amazing!

My coffee arrives; it is slightly spilt so I get a nice coffee mug ring on my dress to go with everything else. I don’t care. I sip my coffee as I watch tourists come back to shore after snorkeling this morning. A must for anyone who comes to Pemba. This really is a beautiful country.

In this last month I have lost so much. The bamboo hut Rahab ministries runs in, which was the safe place our girls used to come to each week for an evening off. The land Rahab’s new building would have been, my house and the certainty of being able to live here. The government is starting to control the amount of foreigners that come to live in Pemba as it is starting to get very packed. However that includes missionaries. To live here means you have to fight your corner, show your qualifications and argue that what you are doing here really is helping.

           

Temptation to just pack up and leave sets in.

I started to think. I would only really have enough for a flight to South Africa. Maybe I should go there? But I couldn’t afford to stay there, but I can’t afford to stay here either but that hasn’t stopped me the last four years. What do I want my life to look like? I am almost 30 and that scares me.

Then I remember…I am living the dream God gave me.

I remember those miracles I have witnessed and excited to see the many more we are contending for. Through the hard times and the good times. It was time to focus on the reward...time to focus on Jesus. 

My friends, after years of going to the courts and countless meetings with their lawyers have finally legally adopted their little girl here. She is now six but they have known her since she was days old. She fits into their family so well. She is just like both of them in so many ways. She was set apart just for them.

In all the busyness of dealing with everything that has been going on, it was a breath of fresh air for our community here. A day of celebration.

They had a dream and they never gave up. They prayed and fasted and walked through it all, and they won. They could have given up and gone home to live an easier life. But they kept going and fighting for their child.

What an amazing testimony it is. I love adoption; God speaks so much through it. A reminder that we are adopted even though we have messed up so much. God never gives up on us and we should walk in that identity every day.

Well my coffee cup is empty and I think it’s now time to go home and sleep for the next 24 hours. Thankful to be able to ‘take a moment’ and be reminded once again that I can’t do this, be He can, so we will.

Excited for the miracles that will come tomorrow.

He calls His children home....

Talking about God being in control in the last post, lets talk about last wednesday. Our baptism day.

I all started three Fridays ago when one of our girls in the barraca (Bamboo hut) came up to me and said 'Mana Ruth, I want to be baptised'. This one girl I still remember when we first met. She was totally drunk and came in to the barraca being so loud and demanding attention. We prayed for her and God met her where she was. She ending up sobbing and repenting for all she did. She came back week after week, sometimes drunk, sometimes in her full muslim headdress, sometimes quiet and really tired. She had many times of sobbing and breaking down and many times of reflection. She came to our bible study on wednesdays regularly and gave her life to the Lord.

She has completly changed since that first day we met her and is learning more and more about walking through life as a daughter of God.

So here she is asking to get baptised.

Only God can transform a life so much.

So the following wednesday we do a teaching on baptism and the next week we go to baptise her. We sat in the car for about twenty minuets waiting for her to show up with three of our ladies who also come to our bible study week after week. They themselves got baptised last year. We start to loose hope and plan to do a birthday party instead as two of the three had birthdays recently. Then suddenly, after searching a little, she shows up.

So down to the beach we go. We sit in the sand and teach some more about what God thinks about baptism and what the bible says about it. As we start we suddenly hear people coming towards us..it was two more of the girls that come most friday nights and some wednesdays for bible study. They didn't want to miss out, they also wanted to be baptised!

God calls His children, this ministry is His and may He do what He likes with it. We didn't plan this but what a joy it is when God's in control.

So we ask the three girls who got baptised last year, to baptise the three girls getting baptised that day. It was so beautiful to watch. It was such a joy to see these girls start a new season in Him.

Getting out the way and allowing God to move in His way results in such splendor.

God was in totally control of the whole thing, calling His children into His presence and plan for their lives. What a joy it is to follow our big God.

Thank you for your continued prayer for our ministry on the street, we have currently had to close our bamboo hut as someone bought the land we were on. But we are going around only doing street ministry, which has been going great! Lots of healings and salvations and we have only been doing it for two weeks.

Please do continue to keep praying for Iris Ministries, our team in Pemba, the children and the missionaries. We need it everyday; we need God to show up every day and we need God’s miracles every day.

I have no idea...

Who of you guys feel like the more you grow in God, the more you feel like you have no idea what you are doing?  It seems like the more I surrender to Him, the more unqualified I feel. Yet the more I feel like His daughter and I act less like an orphan.

Sounds strange hey? But the more control He has, the better things go.

Learning once again. Always.

I received some bad news yesterday. My friend and fellow for years died of a hepatitis virus in the night (our early morning, America's night). She had been sent home from hospital as there was nothing they could do. She was taken from this earth earlier than she should have been.

She was part of the admin team for the missions school here, so for three years (2008 – 2011) I emailed her every day. She was such a stable; lovely team member and I will truly miss her.

I assumed she would be around for years. I should have talked to her more over this last year since I last saw her in Pemba in 2012.

Yesterday I was just in shock that she was gone. It was so bizarre how she was alive one day and gone the next. I wept and mourned for the loss of a friend, and as I was doing so, I had a picture of her in heaven standing next to Jesus. They were looking at me and she was asking me why I was crying. She was so happy to be in heaven and to be with Jesus. To be home.

God is totally in control.

I know bad things happen to good people, and I can’t answer why. But I can say God is good, even when I loose a friend. Because right now she isn’t sick anymore and she isn’t in pain. She is dancing with the one true God in freedom and in light.

So may I give more control to Him, even when I feel unqualified. As He is totally qualified and He is all I need.

I can't, He can, We will

The calm before the storm...

Annnnnnnddddddd I’m back. There has been a long delay since I last wrote an update, please don’t be offended. Between preparing for children’s day, children being sick and having IV’s connected with the help of bamboo sticks and an extra 400 people coming on the base for the missions school. It has been a tad busy around here. But I still think of you all, even when I can’t write.

But for now…let me tell you about the day we got Natanael.

It was a normal morning apart from the fact that it was more peaceful. I walked over to work once up and dressed. Got some milk and cookies for my kids on the way from the little bamboo shack that sells all things nice. I enjoyed the sea as it looked like glass; I wanted to go over to walk on it. I enjoyed the fact that I got to walk past the fish tree without the fisherman chatting me up. It was such a peaceful morning. Then suddenly it hit. It was too quiet. I quietly whispered in my head, ‘God…it’s too quiet, today’s going to be crazy isn’t it?’

I stepped onto base and gave the milk and cookies to the baby house, all seemed fine. I was on my way to the toddler house to give them their milk and cookies but I stopped at the children’s office first. There were around ten people outside and others inside. One person was holding what looked just like a piece of capulana (the material skirts African’s use). But wrapped inside was this little bundle, this beautiful baby boy. So vulnerable and only hours old. After a talk with our children’s director they all got in the car and went to social services.

Then started my craziness.

I got into the baby house and started preparing…’Tia’s, we are getting a newborn, prepare bottles, prepare the bed, get clothes…this is not a drill!’ And about 30 minuets later this tiny bundle turns up at our door. He’s handed to me and the family leaves to sort the body of his mother.

Sadly the mother died during birth because she was at home alone while she was in labor. She was found soon after by her family on the floor, with this precious baby laying next to her in the dirt…still attached to her.

We clean him up as he was covered in dirt and take him straight to the local clinic. His umbilical cord was re-tied as the family had tied it with a piece of capulana. He is weighed (1.5kg) and then given his first bottle of milk, which he didn’t really take to start with.

We wait for our ride back to the base and as I am doing this I stare at him, worshiping God and thanking Him that he saved Natanael’s life. I am reminded of the story of Samuel and how he was set apart for God. I then named him Nathaniel as that means ‘chosen by God.’ In Portuguese his name is Natanael.

Later that day we decided he will come home with me for a couple of nights until we can sort our Tia’s and make sure there is someone just for him. During my first night with him I don’t sleep until 3:30am as he suddenly decides that night that he is actually hungry and would like to start feeding. A relief to all! As I sit up with him I keep worship all night, I pray with him, I mourn the loss of his mother with him and pray all the trauma off him. I look at him and see such a vulnerable, small person that has been set apart for a big, grand purpose.

He is a son of the great big God.

Other things happened that day on our base. One of our Tia’s husband died, one of our children was getting set free and having demonic fits. Our department head was still mourning the loss of her brother, that died very suddenly the week before so she was crying on and off throughout the whole day.

It was a crazy day for all, but new life happened. New promises and new declarations.  The 6^th June will always be remembered. I for one will not remember it for the chaos and death. But for our new little gift.

Natanael.

Home....

I'm home and I'm happy :)

Another week, where it's just one week....

Do I dare write this? I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I'm unsure if I can muster up the courage. My flight date is next Tuesday. Come the 15^th April I might actually be getting on the plane to go back to where I call home. I know I have written many posts like this in the past so you might not believe me. I don’t know if I believe myself.

All bags are packed (and have been since Feb), my DIRE (residency card) and the letter for that are tightly together with my plane ticket and passport. I have a one-way ticket so going to be 100% in God’s hands for my return date. This is it. Wow. Still get nervous saying it. Not more GP visits, no more hospital stays. No more emergencies. All tropical illnesses are gone and I am getting stronger, and fatter. :)

This has been the craziest New-Year I have ever experienced, but I survived and have come out of the whole thing praising God once again for His goodness and faithfulness.

Pemba has recently been struck by a cyclone, the devastation from that has been horrific. People have sadly died from their houses falling on them during the night and many have lost every possession they had. Iris has opened up their church building for people to sleep in and are working with those locally to rebuild their houses and provide food.

Please be praying for Iris and the locals during this time. Pray for those suffering after losing loved ones and that disease that can come from flooding stay far away! Many have been getting dengue fever and malaria since the rivers and puddles have provided a perfect environment for mosquitoes.  

Ready to hit the ground running, ready to see my babies and friends from the villages again, ready to see my Iris family. I am even ready for rice and beans again. After just over 5 months, I am ready. I am surrendered to God, I willingly have given my live to him. I trust in His timing, and I am excited for the possibility that next week will be it!

Please pray for me during my traveling, that everything will run smoothly. Come the end of May I have to renew my DIRE once again, which is quite a big cost. So prayer for provision would be lovely. As well as continued good health and strength for this next season.

Thank you once again for all those who pray for me and cheer me on. I couldn’t do this without you all, who I call my family.

What a beautiful View...

When I was in hospital, I was on a ward that had a great view of the Kingston area and beyond. The window was wide and we were high up on the 7^th floor, higher than any surrounding buildings. It became a great talking point for any visitor. I was on very strong antibiotics and painkillers, trying to get over the operation. To say I wasn’t very sociable was an understatement. Each time the nurse came to me, or I lost my lunch…’oh what an amazing view’ was announced by any around. Those who came each day got to know that view of by heart. It became very comical. 

It was also a great view for me at night-time when I was kept awake by fellow patients. The lights shinning bright from the streets near and far. I love views of cities at night-time. 

One of the first things I did when I was starting to walk once again was to check out the view properly. It really was amazing and a great distraction from the pain standing was bringing.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since I smelt the sweet freedom of the outside world of the hospital. Much progress has happened; I’m walking around, in less daily pain. I’m down to one bandage and my stomach muscles are coming back! You never know how much you need them until you loose them! In this physical healing there has been emotional healing as well. When a lot has been lost, you have to choose faith more than ever before. You have to battle the flesh to receive what God has for you. This has caused many times of falling over, but God picks me up every time.

‘Blessed are those who are poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God’. (Matthew 5)

I once had to write an essay in my missions school back in 2007. We had to choose our favorite beatitude and say why. I chose that one without really understanding it. I just liked the reward to be truthful. I looked at all the beatitudes and saw what each one reaped, and this one looked like the best. So, while I wrote the essay I asked God to make me poor in spirit.

I now understand it.

This season has allowed me to understand what being poor in spirit really looks like. God is the only way. I'm in a place where I had lost control of many things in my life. I couldn’t bath myself, go as I please, use my phone to communicate or choose when I would like to leave for Pemba. But that view. It was beautiful. As I sat there in my bed, trying to process those last 6 weeks. Two operations, taken to hospital 4 times as emergency, changing my ticket three times, loosing much money in the process, loosing time with many loved ones while in England and not being able to get back to Pemba. My faith was the only thing that got me through it. He loved me through it, he saved my life, he sent the right people at the right time and gave me the best view in the hospital. He is my hero.

'I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me'

Without God I am nothing. I am thankful God has taught me this through such a whirlwind of a season. What a reward to gain. I am all about those rewards in God! :) To loose all is to gain everything. May I keep on learning.

In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,

firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My Comforter, my All in All,

here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh

Fulness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones he came to save:

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied -

For every sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain:

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave he rose again!

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,

For I am His and He is mine -

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath.

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.