I go out of the office and into the lobby to pick up the slip of paper dedicated to the next person. I see their name and what they are able to receive on this day. Let's call this person Cassandra. I see that Cassandra needs food and clothes today, so I say hello as I call her name to come to the clothes shop with me. She seems shy, but happy to be with me. We make polite conversation and look around the
food first. She needs every item from each food category. She is allowed three cans of vegetables, so she picks two cans of sweetcorn and some mixed veggies. She likes sweet corn and has a plan for how she will use it. We find some clothes that not only fit her, but that she likes. The blue, flowery, long-sleeved top is her favourite. She also gets two pairs of jogging bottoms, which she is excited about, as they are not only comfy, but also warm for the cold weather coming. Once we make sure she has everything she needs, we sit down to pray together.
As we start to pray, I say to her what I say to every person who comes for our 'Hands and Feet' ministry. 'It's not just the stuff that God provides; you are a part of our family and we want to know how you are and how we can pray for you.' Cassandra starts to talk about how she needs a stable place to live. I hear this often, and it's not that I don't want to pray without ceasing about this for every neighbour, but I also care so much about her heart and how I can pray for that. So I start digging deeper. She then says quietly, 'Please pray as the doctor says I don't have HIV anymore.'
I take a moment to make sure I understood. I sit back and repeat her words, said in a southern accent through my head. I must have got that wrong, I think.
'What do you mean, Casandra?'
'The doctor took some blood and I went for the results and she said I don't have HIV no more, cause I got raped and I had HIV, but now I don't have it no more; that is why I am putting on weight.'
At this moment, Miss Amy walks up to her to embrace her and ask her how she is doing. Again Cassandra talks about her everyday life. I interrupt, I ask her to repeat to Miss Amy what she just told me.
She does so.
Amy and I smile at each other as Amy goes on to ask, 'How can that be Cassandra?! That's impossible!'
'Well, it's because I asked God every day and then He came and I don't have HIV no more.' She says it so simply like it is an every day event.
I pray that it becomes one.
Come 9:30am, I start emailing our sweet future visitors until a volunteer comes in to help out for the morning. I plug her in and talk a little about the ministry. I tell her about what just happened and doubt enters into my head. I repent to my Lord Jesus in my head, before I get her settled with organising clothes.
The week moves on and becomes busy, I once again notice that I have to fight off being overwhelmed. I lose that simplicity that Cassandra has, as a child who knows who her God is. I pull away and lose track of who I am in Him through the everyday things.
Thursday night, we go and pray over a fellow missionaries' house in a nearby street. And she has this hanging in her house.
It was like a slap around the face from God. How I love those slaps and I pray He does it each day. Seriously. When I am serious about finding Him in it all, wanting Him more than anything, He will be there for me. Always. And I won't be disappointed.
I believe that Cassandra prayed daily and was serious about finding God in her healing. I also notice that I am not always serious about seeking Him in the stressful moments of fighting off being overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed by the need is something that I actually can't do without my God, so I don't know why I sometimes try!
Jesus, may I seek you daily with a pure intention. May I be like Cassandra who '...is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come' Proverbs 31v25, in each moment of each day. Because I know there is a place in your presence I have never been before, I am want to go as I go deeper with you Lord!
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to minister to this neighbourhood. But also, thank you, God, for always teaching me. For showing me how to go low and slow, putting my heart in a mouldable place for you to do your thing!
Lord, I surrender all to You once again. Teach me daily Your ways. Make me get serious about You!
Staff retreat November 2016
Such a privilege to love on our sweet
children
Thanksgiving
2016
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