He calls me by name...

As I walk over to the big brick house next door to mine, the house that use to be a drug den and brothel, but is now a lovely big house that some of my closest friends live in. I choke a little at the overwhelming smell of weed in the air. I see my friends and neighbours further down the road sitting outside on their porches smoking and talking. They don’t know Jesus yet and think we are crazy people, that seem to love everyone. White, black, rich, poor. They see the love daily, yet they struggle to see how they can be so loved. 

I step into the brick house to have a relaxing and fun evening with my fellow missionary friends, I play games, chat about our days and then watch a movie. Yet as I do I pray. I pray for those outside and down the road. My close neighbours who don’t yet know Jesus. And God says gently to me…'I call them by name.'

Every Friday night, after some prayer and worship for this city, I get in a car with my friends and I drive down to the local clubs to pray outside, say hello to the bouncers outside, and sometimes the lead of the ministry and one of our pastors hand out gifts to those inside, making sure they let each person they see know that Jesus loves them. And so do we!

As I sit outside the clubs, Jesus tells me 'I'm am calling them each by name.' Not their stage name, but their real name, just as he did with Samuel. He asks me to pray along with Him. I do, as I thank Him that He has called us all by name.

God takes me to Galatians 4v1-7 and shows me such truth. As the Lord calls us by name, as we become sons  and daughters of His, our spirit can't help but cry out 'Abba Father.'' So as He calls our name, we cry His name and then He cries our name. We are in a perfect relationship with Him as we focus on each other. He has our complete attention and we have His.

As He brings me to this revelation, He shows me why He has been getting me to pray that my beautiful neighours hear Him call their name. Because when they hear, and they become sons and daughters, they can’t help but respond.

‘Father, you love us without measure Savior, you lead us to life Spirit, you teach us to listen, to laugh, to love, to cry and we feel this ache inside Jesus,

oh how we love you Jesus, oh how we love you

There's no other we desire

There's no other we desire thousands of songs have been sung stories of loss and of love we can't deny this aching desire to respond Abba, oh how we love you

You're our hope and you are our refuge’ 

Oh how we love you, United pursuit

As I respond to Him I learn more about Him, about myself in Him and I learn how to pray. I pray for salvation for our kids and I get to see two of our precious little ones give their lives just yesterday. I pray to be extra close to Him, and the desperation in me heightens. I pray for the perfect time to return to England for a couple of weeks. So although my visa is going to take time, and I won’t be returning in April, I know He has me.

I know He has me in all things, as I look to Him and He looks to me. As He calls my name, I call His. As I stand in my position as a daughter of my Abba Father.

Living life to the full....

‘Buggy!’ we screamed as we drove the country roads of Lancaster County. It started as us thinking this is a rare sighting and we got excited each time…however as the week went on we realised that there are plenty of Buggy’s as we drive around ‘Amish Country’. In fact, our new Amish friend, Levi, let us know that there are 30,000 Amish people living in Lancaster county alone. We learnt about the roots of the Amish and the mennite church, plus the fact that each Bishop says what’s ok and what is not…so with there being so many rules even the Amish get confused.

The sceneries are beautiful with the greenery, hills and farm land. We got to see thousands of white geese come in for the ONE weekend that they stop by on their way to Canada. The sea of white was stunning and the many other tourists thought so too. It looked just like Narnia when they rowed their boat through the flowers to get to the ends of the earth to see Aslan’s country.

My birthday was full of fun adventures and good food. I got to see my friend Bonnie who used to be at We Will Go and meet many new friends at the church, who gave me thoughtful gifts and sang to me as they presented me with the largest chocolate cake I have ever seen!

I got to sit many times and reflect on my Lord’s beauty. He whispered to me many times His love for me, while I realise even more that I don’t deserve it. At best I am like a dirty rag…yet He calls me lovely.

Even though I knew I was to go to Pennsylvania, I still asked Him many times, why am I here? Why have you brought me on this trip? He said two things, to stretch me and to show me how much He loves me. 

That he did...

‘The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full’ John 10:10

Having life to the full looks like what? Some may say happiness, and that most people are in the pursuit of happiness. Some may say being successful, going for full education and getting a good job. Some may say knowing God and following His ways.

God showed me that having life to the full is this - 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,^[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;^[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.⁸ Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13

Love….

Love is the key to full life…His love. He has a covenant with His children. His covenant makes us priests, His child, His bride, whole and perfected.

I pray that I never run dry, I stay full as I live this life on this earth. That as I work with the kids, visitors, our neighbours, minister in the clubs and barista in the coffee shop, I would flow out of His love for me. May I live life to the full.

21 days....

The year started, and so did our team’s fast. Each person spent time with the Lord asking Him what they were going to fast. I knew straight away that I was meant to fast coffee, which I struggled with not being enough. Some were on liquid fasts, no sugar or Daniel fasts. And I was only giving up coffee. However, to do anymore would have been fear of man. So I started.

I woke with headaches and stayed grumpy, as my body started to withdraw from the caffeine. The tiredness didn’t disappear during the day, while at the same time things got busier, so in all of this I was struggling. Plus God was waking me early (3/4am) a lot of mornings. They were sweet times with Him, but the days without coffee made it hard.

I appreciate that not everyone understands what not having no caffeine is like after relying on it for a good few years. And that some might be smiling and thinking ‘Oh Ruth’, in love of course. I would say the same to those who were in my situation. However, this fast was a hard one.

 So what was the point of it? Did God just want me to suffer and find things hard for a bit? I don’t believe so, not because I know Him better than that, but I saw the fruit. 

I started the year by writing a thank you card to God. This sounds weird I know, but as I wrote thank you cards to those who gave me Christmas gifts it came to my head something that someone said…’We don’t ever write thank you cards to God, why is that?. So I sat down and wrote out a thank you letter. I positioned myself in a place of thankfulness to commune more with my Father.

Little did I know that being thankful is exactly what I needed during the hard times in the fast. The times that I had people swearing at me and getting frustrated at me out of fear and frustration, I sat back and thanked God that they took it out on me rather than anyone else. I thanked God that this was a safe place that they could show some feelings. I thanked God that I had a family around me and we were all on the same page, they supported and they helped me teach simple skills, like dealing with anger. That I had a family around me that prayed with me, to ask the Lord what the root problem was behind this person getting angry. I thanked God for the times I had to lean on Him, as it reminded me again that I have a God that wants me to lean on them! He really does want that!

He is there as my stronghold and protector through it all and He wants me to draw close in intimacy.

There was one weekend that was one of the hardest weekends I think I have had, so I sat in worship and cried out to Him. Like really cried…snot and tears with my big ugly crying face. And this is what He gave me…

‘You’ve captured my heart, dear friend.

    You looked at me, and I fell in love.

    One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!

How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend—

    far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine,

    your fragrance more exotic than select spices.’

Song of songs 4v9,10

In another translation, it says, ‘you have stolen my heart’. Through my hurt and crying out to Him, He picked me up and told me how much He loves me. He gave me the sword of truth to cut through the hard stuff.

He asks me to go into the dark places that, without Jesus I wouldn’t go near. And I get to say ‘Yes’ with a thankful heart. I get to tell my flesh to be quiet as I cut through all lies with the sword of truth. That He loves me so deeply, just from one look in my eye.

He is equipping me so well.