“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” - Mother Teresa

As three weeks have past since landing back on Pemba soil I am struggling to make this update short, sweet and readable. I think if I was face to face with you all I would not be able to help but ramble everything that has happened... ‘and then this happened! And then God did this miracle, which lead to this and then oh yeh…’ And so on J God has truly been taking me through a heart-breaking season, He has made these three weeks seem like they have been months.

I got here to find the two girls who I had been mentoring were lost. No one could find them and all seemed hopeless. My barraca was a mess and my sweet neighbours decided as I had left for four months, they could place all their trash there. I came back to see such a great need and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to run away. I could only scream and cry out ‘NOOOOO GOD NOOOO!! I CAN”T DO THIS!!’ I didn’t feel qualified, confident or strong enough. I had such a huge heart for these girls that it hurt too much. I couldn’t stand it. Too many tears were being shed.

One night God just whispered to me…’Ruth, you have the orphan spirit and that is why you think you can’t do this’. Wow. More tears came but this time I wasn’t fighting. This time I was giving all to Him, again. How can we do anything if we don’t know who we are? I thought I knew who I was. I thought I was stable in that. But when it really came down to it, I hadn’t given my whole self as a daughter to the high King of Heaven. God then gave me a torch in the spirit, and I am to hold it behind me. So while I am walking in this dark place, people can see this light of Jesus and follow.

So last night (Friday 15^th June) I opened the barraca once again, with the help of some wonderful mission school students. We started the afternoon by cleaning up the trash. This is when our first miracle happened with our neighbours coming to help. They worked the whole day with us! It was amazing! We got into the barraca and made it look so beautiful. When the night came we went out and ministered on the streets. We invited the ladies who are in the situation where they have to sell themselves, back to the barraca. We loved on them, gave them pedicures, sang with them. Learnt their names, and shared chocolate with them. It was beautiful. At least 4 ladies gave their lives to God and many more are coming to church this Sunday. They came high on drugs, drunk and just ready to party with men. But they spent a night safe with us being loved on by the love of Jesus.

We are invited by God to just sit in His arms, live in His grace and walk in His footsteps. We are invited to be fathered by the most wonderful father ever known. We are all qualified to do what we are called to do, as we are all children of God. He is the one who goes out before us and guides us. I don’t even know what I was worried about. J I know this will hurt, just because love does. However I know God is crying for these ladies with me.