In the process...

'I always thank my God for you because of his grace given to you in Christ Jesus. For in Him you have been enriched in every way - with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge - God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you.' 1 Corinthians 1:4-6

When I was asked to write about thankfulness, I sat up and smiled. Thinking back quickly over my nearly three months in Jackson and how much God has done in that short amount of time. I of course said yes, mentioning about the amount God has done in me to overcome the fear that was in me. His perfect love has come and completely wrecked me, allowing me to see His goodness in it all. Allowing me to give-over control in those things I didn’t even relalise I was controlling. He came in and flipped some ideas upside down. Teaching me how to love in that deep way.

Thinking back to what He has redeemed in my life in a short amount of time. I have plenty to be thankful for!

When I came to ‘We Will Go’, I came with a list of how past experiences created fear, and how that fear could come again through stepping out and being on the mission field. I gave the list to God and asked for help. I knew I couldn’t do it with out Him.

Once in Mississippi I encountered poverty, injustice, spiritual warfare and hardships. Determined to stay focused on those eyes of fire I knelt down and started learning how to give it all to Him. He helped me take it off my shoulders and I started learning how to go to Him rather than allowing fear in. It tends to leave me in a much more vulnerable place, but it means I can see His miracles in each moment. He reveals the fears in my heart and consumes them in His fire with perfect love. I was so used to stuffing my fears and worries down, not wanting to deal with them so I could keep going. Jesus, through His kindness has shown me the freedom in walking things out with Him.

2 Peter 1v4 ‘Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.’

Through participating in the divine nature of God I have experienced miracles happening on the street and hearts being broken for our Lord. There have been many times that Jesus has given me experiences that I don’t remember asking for, yet I know it was a desire of my heart. He has taken me on fun adventures and shown me secrets of His kingdom.

I am so thankful for that deep friendship that takes me through life. From a simple yes I go from being a broken orphan to a daughter undone by His love. I am thankful for His presence that, without, I couldn’t do one day.

I am a thankful missionary instead of a broken one. A missionary that cries out that He is the only way. A daughter of the King that allows His perfection to cover my imperfections through grace. I am learning to do everything with Him. Pouring a bowl of cereal without Him only leaves a mess, just as trying to care of a malnourished children without Him can leave me stuffing the pain down, allowing it to grow into hopelessness.  

As Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians, my testimony can only bring thankfulness. He saved me and He helps me. By His grace He has shown me who He is and who I am in Him. The more I surrender to Him and allow Him to reign in my life, the more I see His goodness in it all. Thank you Jesus!

As I am now in another moment of waiting on a visa, waiting on thousands to come in to my bank account for tickets and visas, waiting on documents to come through. I sit thankful that I am whole in Him. I am thankful that I know He has me and I can trust Him. I sit in England after landing a few days ago, looking forward to going back to the place He has called me. I sit here wondering how He is going to bring forth this miracle once again? I know in it all, He is good. 

Please stay in touch with me and how I can pray for you! Thank you to each one of you that are praying for me and are cheering me on! Means so much to me!

Some of my Surroundings....

We Will Go from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.

Prayer always brings fruit....

Many have asked how you can pray for me so I wanted to write up my prayer requests on here for all to see. Thank you again to everyone who has written to me and cheered me on. I love being here and seeing all that God is doing. As I sit in a coffee shop that used to be a nightclub and I go to the hospitality housing that used to be drug dens and brothels. Now they are being used for God and is full of worship, love, peace and hope. May I never forget how much of a miracle this place is!

So my top prayer request at this time is for Thursday. I am getting all four wisdom teeth out, so prayers that this goes smoothly would be beautiful.

My other big prayer request is for Mid-October. I have to leave for the UK to have an interview at the American Embassy so I can apply for a business visa. Prayers for favor during this time, that God’s hand will be in every step of the process.

My next big prayer request is for my finances. As you all know I live by faith and I know that my God is good in it all! Having prayer warriors praying for me and contending for provision makes a world of difference!

Since coming to ‘We Will Go’ I am on my computer everyday helping with emails and communicating with visitors. My computer screen however has problems with its connection so I can only see part of the screen. This makes my time on the computer a little harder and I need to spend more time on it. I am praying in a new computer so I am asking if you would be able to join in this with me!

Last but not least prayers for me to stay focused on the King of all Kings, the one with eyes like fire and hair like snow. To stay in His joy that is my strength and to never forget to put on the armor of God daily.

Please email me your prayer requests too. I love hearing how you are doing! I may not be able to reply straight away but your emails do truly bless me!

Love and prayers!

Thank you that you are always trustworthy...

I arrive jet lagged, sleep deprived and happy. I made it. I have no idea how it happened apart from God. When He told me I was going to Jackson I submitted, I said 'Yes, sir', I said my life is in your hands, I said you will have to get me there. I said your will not mine. He did it through His ways and in His splendour. I loved being in the midst of a miracle. He is worth my every 'Yes.'

I arrived knowing what I was walking into, being a missionary is no holiday. It's not the glamour you see in the selfies on Instagram, but the videos shown from Oxfam. I can't watch those anymore as it's so real I can smell it. I walked into this 'yes' with the realisation that I still hold fear of seeing unjust sights, and it's so ugly, I don't want any part of it. The fear has the power to stop me being part of God bringing the light in the dark if I let it. I have the choice every day to walk in paralyzing fear or perfect love. The difference is that when I walk in His love I see His miracles and mercy through the injustice and hurt. I see the chains breaking around those who didn't even know they had them, and those who did. I see hearts softening and tumors disappearing. All I see when I sit still in fear are walls going up and my eyes not seeing those eyes of fire that hold all hope.

One Sunday I helped with the children's program. This involved my picking some of the children up from their home. I sat in the bus trying to take in the route my fellow missionary was taking, looking at the houses and street names. I took in the condition the houses were in and the amount of rubbish that was thrown around. I saw the cracked windows and falling down roof tops that large families live in without aircon for the summer or heating for the winter. These were next door to the burnt out abandoned houses that now only house rats and cockroaches. We drove down each street inviting those we knew to church. Only a couple came that Sunday. We got to church and walked in during worship. One little boy wanted to steal a bungee cord that was left from the bus so we had to make sure that was kept in the bus before he got out. No shouting was done and we made it light hearted but that didn't stop the pouting lip and the paddy on the floor. My friend drove the bus into a driveway and I was left to deal with this angry child. I work with children, I'm used to this. However because I was walking in fear at that moment, learning to focus on those eyes of fire, getting pruned by my loving heavenly father, everything in me wanted to sit on that floor next to him and pout. I had to hold it together and follow him as he tried to run away from my words of reason.

I followed him to to the portaloos and sat outside them while he messed around in them. I prayed. I talked to God about the fact that he is choosing to sit in a stinky hot toilet right now, over a bungee cord. He revealed that I choose that many times too. I may not physically be in the stinky hot toilet but in my heart I am choosing the ugly, hot stinky mess. I call those moments, the glow stick moment.

Someone once prophesied over me that I was a glow stick that needed to be broken before it could glow.

That was my glow stick day.

You read the psalms and you look at the way David poured out His heart in prayer and worship, talking about his weakness and God's strength and goodness. Psalm 25 particularly shows how much David was holding onto God in his trust for Him. Through all the ugliness that we can walk in through our weakness, He prunes and shows us the right way. 'He confides on those who fear him;' says verse 14. I want that! I don't want to loose the perfect love that casts out all fear by trying to run away from the hard stuff and ending up in the metaphorical stinky hot toilet. I want to walk in His perfect love and fear Him, gaining wisdom and walking in purity.

I think every fear I had of becoming a missionary again has come up in these last four weeks, yet God has not let me dwell in them. He has been delivering me and showing me the ugly stuff I carried without knowing it. The way I easily react in fear and anger and want to have a paddy on the floor from one second of remembrance of past trauma. Remembering those times I walked in fear and no good fruit came out of it. My good father is not going to let me go down that path again.

Being pruned can hurt. The battles can push you around. But to go out in battle without the armour of God leaves scars and bruises. It is foolish.

So as I get up daily, learning to put my amour of God on and leave it on. Learning to lean on Him when the unjust stuff hurts. Learning not to run away from His kind words to a stinky hot toilet. Learning to love the one in front of me as He is loving me so well right now, in this moment.

When I am walking through the waters, once getting out the boat, I need to look at the one who is Holy and not look at the storm around me.

I have to leave the country at the end of October for a new visa. This process should only take two weeks but prayers for favour and finances for the second flight plus visa fees would be great! Prayers for me to stay focused on Him in it all. I also need to have all four of my wisdom teeth taken out, which is a scary prospect for me so prayers that it goes well and I recover quickly.

Thank you to all of you that have kept in touch and prayed for me this last month. I have learnt so much, seen so much, poured out so much and taken in so much. May this next month be an even greater adventure.

The count down...

So the count down begins - still looking at leaving on the 26th. Still no ticket and money for Visas, no guarantee that I will have a monthly income and only a half packed suitcase. Should I be worried? Not a chance!

When I got back from my two-week trip to Jackson, Mississippi I finally got to that point where I fully took in that God is going to send me back to be a long-term missionary. I came up with so many reasons why I shouldn’t go and why it properly isn’t God that I am hearing so clearly. (The point of denial is always a pointless place to go; yet I go there often) I looked at my finances and laughed, I was struggling with living I the UK, while working and yet God wanted me to get on a plane and move, living by faith on the missions field once again?! I felt like Sarah laughing at God telling Abraham that they were going to get pregnant at their grand age. It wasn’t possible.

I could laugh all I wanted, it was happening.

See, I have given my life to God, I give Him full permission to do what he likes, to use me and form me. I have done this, as I know He is good. I have witnessed His goodness time and time again.

So I surrendered to Him once again, laughing, but walking it out. I opened the doors that needed to be opened to become a missionary with ‘We Will Go.’ In this process God also asked me to give up lots of paid work, allowing me to only continue with two small jobs. For me this didn’t go hand in hand. Somehow I need to survive in the UK for the next three months plus save for moving to America. So I laughed some more and made a few phone calls. The walking this out in faith thing was to start already, and I saw His provision daily in greater ways than before.

He holds me so gently in His hands, that I feel Him taking care of me at each step.

I went to my friends house in London one weekend to celebrate her birthday. We spent lots of time chilling and eating lots of food, which is something we do every time we are together. We talk about deep things along with the everyday things. Somehow we get in to the topic of Switzerland. I mention that it is my ‘bucket list’ destination and I had always admired the photos others had taken of that place. 5 days later I get a phone call from another friend who had no idea about this conversation that they would like to bless me with a weekend away to Switzerland. My mind is blown. Jesus has totally taken the wheel with my life. Not only does he provide but also He gives me a time of rest and play in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I was in awe of God’s beauty daily.

Giving it all to Him is an adventure.

While in Switzerland we were driving around the vineyards, looking over beautiful lakes and the Swiss Alps in the background. I started singing Martin Smith’s song ‘Song of Solomon’. There was one line in it that I kept repeating.

‘Beauty wrap you arms around me, sing your song of kindness, I need you’

I asked God why I was singing this. The last time I was singing this song was when I was very sick, in hospital with no energy. I had just gone through shock and trauma after an emergency surge‘because I always want you to need me’. I cried. I think back to how passionately I was crying out to Him in those days at the hospital, that should be a daily thing. It shouldn’t take the hard times in life for us to say, God I need you. When I am surrounded by His beauty, I should cry out to Him and say, ‘Lord I need this beauty of yours to wrap its arms around me, in your kindness because I need you.’

ry and I was finding it hard to find God’s presence. This worship song brought me through it all as I cried out for Him. So I felt a bit confused as to why I was singing this song in a completely different scenario. Then God replies

I want to be totally undone that I need Him in everything, because I have given Him everything.

I am calling out to Him daily. I need you. I need a ticket, I need a monthly income, I need finances for my visas, I need daily bread to eat. Most of all, my Lord, I need you.

You call me out the boat to walk on this wavy water, and I will daily, looking into your eyes of love for me.

Once in Jackson, Mississippi I shall be overseeing hospitality. So when people come to visit the ministry I do the communication before hand, look after them when they are there sorting their schedule so they can get involved in all areas plus many other things. I will also be getting involved with many other areas, but hospitality will be the main thing. So excitement is rising as I get closer to my next season.

Please keep in contact while I am away, I will be updating this blog regularly and will be making videos when I can, simply because I like to. Prayers are always so needed and would love it if you could pray regularly for me as well.

If you need a reminder of what the place is like, please go to the video on the last blog. 

Get out the boat...

As the plane lands in Jackson, Mississippi I feel relived to be here after 24 hours of travelling. Wanting to get my luggage quickly so I can get into bed became a priority while I processed where I was. I had questions going around my head, ‘What am I going to experience?’ ‘What does this place look like in daylight?’ ‘God did you see those battered, rundown houses next to those beautiful done up houses?’ 

Stepping into the unknown my two-week adventure with ‘We Will Go Ministries’ had begun. 

As I awoke in this foreign land the want to get started straight away was stirring up in me. I came to be quiet and learn, and my hunger to learn was great. I looked out the window while eating my breakfast, taking in my surroundings. The birds were singing so loudly, landing all around the houses to eat the food that had been left for them. They were beautiful colours, blending in well with the bright colourful flowers that had been planted.

 I smiled.

 I liked it. 

Our friend Bonnie was soon round with our schedule for this next week and we got ready to go.
It didn’t take long before I came to the realization that this place is a miracle. Amy and David Lancaster have been ministering in downtown Jackson for nearly 11 years now with one objective. ‘Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbour’. Through them loving on their neighbours they have seen miracle after miracle in peoples lives, in the city and in their ministry. So much so that the weekend I got in Amy and David were in Washington DC receiving a reward from the FBI for reducing crime in their area! They have been given so much by God it is hard not to stand in the midst of it all and not see that God has preformed a miracle. The feeling of God’s peace in a city that is full of gun crime is a miracle, beauty in the midst of ashes was a miracle, and houses’ getting restored is a miracle. It is all mind blowing and that’s what God did to me while I was there, He blew my mind!

The area reminded me of Pemba, Mozambique. The roads were in awful shape, with big pot holes in the middle of them. Kids are running the street. The spiritual battles were the same, which I experienced day one with our car breaking down for no reason. Education isn’t top quality. Healthy food is overly expensive and in all of that, relying on God was the only option. So in the midst of the crazy, is the one true God bringing the peace and the beauty. Which makes that place incredible. 

Part of my two weeks there included listening to the missionaries testimonies. They had about an hour to pray with us, tell us their stories and hear a little about us. Each time I was hit with God’s goodness and reminded once again about how much He loves. It is incredible how much you learn by just sitting and listening. 

I sat and listened to a lady who had worked in strip clubs for much of her adult life, not only as a stripper but also as a manager. Her testimony is one that shakes everything that needs to be shaken and I could write for pages going into detail. However she already has and its been made into a book. Moving mountains with each page the book talks about how a group from ‘We Will Go’ went weekly to her strip club just to minister and shine the light of Jesus. They never gave up on her and showed her relentless love. One day she decided to leave. She knew that if she would stay she would get killed. She has got closer and closer to Jesus, reading the bible daily and letting Him minister deep in her. She is a witness that Jesus is the only way! Seriously the only way. Not one person leaves a job like that for people. Jesus has changed her life, her husband’s life and her children’s lives. 

God did so much in me while I was there, as I said, He blew my mind. He brought back a passion I have for overseas missions, a passion that I had unknowingly pushed deep down out of fear due to the difficulties. He healed me from pain that came from seeing true poverty, corruption, great sickness and even death while living among it. He healed me and built me up ready to go for it again. 

This time Mississippi. 

There is great excitement in me to go and love on the people in Jackson through God. However there is also great excitement to continue learning what love looks like. 

So here I go again. Time to get out the boat and time to see more of His splendor. It is an honour to be part of His divine plans for me and an honour to love the ones He puts in front of me. 


We will go from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.

New Chapter....

So I have started my new chapter, whatever that means. I have landed back on UK soil and have started a time of my life that isn't about all about Pemba. I am no longer a missionary to a foreign nation and I am no longer responsible for so many people. 5 weeks in and I feel like I have done so much, yet so little. I feel like I should be on my way to conquering this new season, yet focusing on divine rest. I have nearly finished my postnatal/non-medical maternity nurse course that I started on in mid-January. I have two practical days the last weekend in February and then my tutor can look at my work, give notes, I make it better and then...done. Then I am trained and start a career as a maternity nurse.

Do I just do that? Do I go to university? Do I rather keep nannying and have a full time job with the same people? Where do I live? So many questions...

Yet I hear His voice...'One step at a time my love, It doesn't all have to get done in a day'. 

The pressure gets less and I learn to have peace in the daily adventures and in the not knowing.

I have managed to get myself a temporary nanny job for the next three weeks to help me until I am trained. I am loving working again, being challenged and learning daily. Making new friends and work contacts, building on my CV and living the 'London life'.

I am still processing everything that happened in Pemba, as well as the sadness of saying goodbye. Not being able to see my babies grow daily, or conquering the world as medical marvels. I know I can only do this through rest and time with my Lord, which I know God will provide as He does with all my other needs.

'One step at a time my love.'

I know this is only the beginning and with that knowledge, I am excited.

Pray for me as I try and write my findings as best as I can during this course, which will allow me to step into new territories. That I hear God as He leads and I find the rest I need to process all.

Thank you for your endless support and prayers during my 4 1/2 years away. I couldn't have done any of it without your cheering on and kind words.

Thank you