It’s my first afternoon back since I hit my head and got
quite a severe concussion. Still feeling pretty rough and slightly imbalanced, I
sit down and wait for my fellow missionary, and brother Willie, to start
talking for the devotion in the gym.
Every weekday afternoon we open our
basketball gym for two hours and invite anyone over 13 to come play. We get on
average, about 20 guys come to play in a safe environment, off the streets,
with safe rules. There are times these rules get pushed at, but mostly it is a
time of fun, where they not only get to play basketball, but they also get to
hear about our amazing Lord and saviour.
These men don’t live easy lives. You could ask any one of
them and they would tell you that it is no joke out there. Out on the streets
in one of the most violent cities. In a place where good education isn’t an
option so you will most likely take over your ‘family business’. ‘Pure love’
isn’t something that is shown and they would tell you that they don’t expect to
live a long life. In a place that has had 29 homicides this year, the need to
live in survival mode is way too common. If I knew the true reality of what
these guys live daily, I don’t think I would cope. These men are my brothers
and I dearly love every one of them.
Waiting for Willie to start the devotional time, I look to
him and he looks to me and says – ‘You got anything miss Ruth?’ I smile at my brother who has just put me in it - yet I know exactly what to share.
These last two weeks have been a wrestling match for me, and
I know that if we, here at We Will Go, are not vulnerable with our walk with
God with these men, then who will be?
Before I hit my head, I was struggling with finding God in
those deep places. He would give me my ‘daily bread’ for sure, but I wasn’t
overflowing, which, is what I desired. I want to be so full of Him that I learn
new revelations every day! In this season though, God was revealing some
painful things in my heart and I went to Him with questions, lists and ways to
deal with this stuff. I wanted more than anything for this ‘stuff’ to be over
and done with and it became a priority in my time with God.
This then meant that my times with God became painful and
not fruitful. This left me frustrated and grumpy – just being honest. A dry Christian
is way more dangerous than a tired one – and I knew this wasn’t good. I just
didn’t know how to move on from it.
He did give me little bits of revelations out the kindness
of His heart and I held on to these tightly. One thing He showed me, was in ‘Song
of Songs’. It shows, that out of His promises, we will wage war together.
He
showed me a place that we can be together, resting in His promises.
I then walked into a fig tree. – It’s ok, you can laugh.
My recovery from this was very up and down. I would get
better and then suddenly much worse. During my bad days, it was decided that I
should be slightly isolated so that I can rest my brain. My friend mentioned to
me that even my times with God might need to look different. So I searched out
what this should look like.
I discovered very quickly that God just wants to ‘Be’ with
me. He wants to sit with me and show me who He is and who I am. He wants to
have fun with me, teaching me in the everyday things. He wants to hold my hand
and take me through each part of my journey. He showed my His kind nature to a
new level. He showed His love time and time again, showing me parts of my heart
that he placed there. He showed me how to surrender to Him once again.
This might sound very simple, yet we can overcomplicate
things way too much!
He took me through the promises in my life and waged war
with me.
As writing and using a pen was a struggle, and concentrating with
messages longer than 50 words was unreadable, due to lack of ability to
concentrate. He waged war with me against fear, through His promises.
So, sitting in this gym, I shared my heart. I sat in front
of about 20 guys and talked about His promises, through my journey. I talked
about the promises that God has for each one of them. I talked about their potential
if they were to truly walk out what God has for them. Because I know that if
God can save me – He will save them too. I know that if I didn’t know God, I
would be just as lost and just as bound up.
We have seen so much change in that gym over the last year,
that I know God’s promises are coming forth!
One thing God has shown Amy and
David, is that He is going to place 1000 lights on 1000 corners. 1000 people in
Jackson, shinning God’s light. I see this not happening from 1000 missionaries
coming into Jackson, but 1000 people who already live in Jackson, shinning God’s
light in their neighbourhood. I see it as these men, who are so hungry for God,
running after all God has for them! Being the change in this neighbourhood.
This is exactly what I told them, as I truly believe in them.
Pray for our guys. Come and visit and pray over them. Keep in
touch and get updates. Believe me…there is going to be so many promises come
forth!
