'God, I don't know what to do, but I look to you'...

It was Halloween night, so we had a worship event in the pavilion. Praying over Jackson, We Will Go and for each other. Little did I know that this worship night would be something that built me up for this upcoming season.

In the middle of worship, Amy read out 2 chronicles 20. It was a timely word. When all these things are standing against you, you can’t help by cry out, ‘God, I don’t know what to do, but I look to you’. You come to Him in worship. He then comes in and fights this battle for you. You don’t have to lift a finger.

There was lots against me going to Mozambique, yet, His will was done.

I was in Mozambique again. It was slightly surreal, like my life there was a dream. Yet it was so comfortable, as if I never left. A home away from home. I wasted no time, and went straight to the baby house. I pulled my baby boys in tight and cried, as they embraced me, as if they remembered me. The Tias danced and celebrated until I told them I was only there for a short time. That took them a while to be ok with that.

Once I went through my orientation at the visitor’s center, which was a weird reality in itself. I went to the toddler house and hugged the necks of the boys and girls, who were still in nappies when I left. I got to tell stories of each one, reminding them of when they did things like, place beads up their noses, or when none of the kids could say their name properly, so they got a fun nickname.

I hugged Calisto, who a week before was facing death in hospital. This week though, he was running around like nothing had happened. It reminded me of the amount of times I had seen these babies looking deathly ill. As I held them in my arms, I had no idea what to do, but pray and worship over them. I would see God bring them back to life quickly, to the point where they were under my feet, shouting my name and refusing to sleep. They became typical little people.

I truly saw God come and fight for each one of these children. Each one is a miracle and they have amazing testimonies, already at such young ages.

When I was in Pemba, I also headed up a ministry call ‘Rahab’. I ministered to ladies who were selling themselves on the street. The first morning I was there I went down to the sewing school, that they are running on the Iris base. They were about to have worship with the ladies from the Iris sewing school. As I walked into the door, two of these ladies saw me, jumped up, hugged my neck and cried. As we all embraced each other, it was like the time we weren’t with each other didn’t count. Yet, God had done so much with each of us through these last three years.

Each week, when it came to anything to do with Rahab, I felt a dreading feeling in my stomach. I didn’t want to do it. It was hard. I didn’t know what I was doing, there was so much warfare and I hated what I saw. Yet, I would get up, pray A LOT, and give God my yes over again. My yes to God, once again was. ‘God, I don’t know what to do, yet I look to you’.

God is so kind to show me the fruit of that weak ‘yes’ that I gave him. He is kind to show me how much He has done.

I would cry each day that I was with these ladies. As I came face to face with the beauty of God’s goodness.

These ladies who used to sell people, and give themselves away for a cheap price. These ladies who would drink way too much and not know their worth at all, are now ministering to those who are in that place. These ladies walk with their head held high, as they know who they are. They make beautiful items that are amazing quality, and they do it with joy.

They haven’t given up on the God who saved them. Yet, they have gone deeper and worship Him daily with all their heart.

I remember one bible study, I was talking about how the joy of the Lord is our strength. One of the girls, who was 16 at the time, asked a question at the end. She has been listening, and really took in everything that was said. She however, had a very sincere question. ‘Last night, my mum came home drunk again and kicked me out, throwing all my clothes out the door and locking it so I couldn’t get back in. How do I find joy through this situation?’

She had me. I had no idea.

I wanted to get angry and rise-up in this unjust behavior towards this vulnerable young girl. Towards my friend.

Her mum as an abusive drunk, and this, I later found out was a regular event in this young girl’s life.

When she asked this question, she wasn’t being rude or wanting to argue. She really wanted to learn about how to have joy.

This is something we went through together. I also had no idea about how to lean on his joy and stay there through all the craziness that happened while I was in Pemba. But, as I went deeper with God, I saw how this joy was a supernatural joy, that you get when you enter that place with God. I learnt the simplicity of staying joyful even when it hurt.

This same young girl now has a house of her own, which is a huge thing in Mozambique. Women owning land used to not be possible. She goes to school every night, after she has been at the sewing school during the day. The best part however, is that she is so full of joy! She is so full of Jesus.

This young girl has been through so much, and has chosen God in it all.

My whole time living in Pemba, I really was screaming, ‘God, I don’t know what to do, but I look to you.’ This trip, God showed me what He did in that prayer.

It was a gift.

As I write this I am crying, while on a train to see my sister in Nottingham. It was so kind of God so show me a glimpse of just some of the miracles that He did while I was in Pemba. Plus, the continuation of this, over these past three years.

Right now, I am waiting in England for another miracle. I am waiting for some added parts to the documents needed for America. Once again, I cry out to God, ‘God, I don’t know what to do, but I look to you’.

Thank you to all of you who were praying for me as I went to Mozambique. It was truly a beautiful time and you were all part of the miracle of getting me there!

In the waiting...

I am about to go to sleep, and I think, I should just check. I go onto the same webpage that is now on my 'often visited' page. I don't even have to type in my receipt number as my computer has remembered it. My computer loads, and then it comes up. The message I have been waiting for.

CASE WAS APPROVED

Three days before getting on a plane and my visa for America goes through. This means that I have freedom to now travel in and out. 

To say I was thrilled is an understatement. 

Thank you so much for walking out this journey with me. Thank you for all of your prayers! Mountains where truly moved and a miracle happened. 

So...I am on my way to Mozambique. I am so excited to see my babies again! See the Tia's (those who look after the children), see my friends and see the place I called home for most of my 20's. 

Please keep praying for me! I am still $1200 short for the trip, and I need this by Monday. Please pray for the whole trip, and for those three things God showed me. Joy, Freedom and Healing. 

In this whole process I have learnt how to not be shaken by the things I see, as I lean on the things that are unseen. Placing all my hope in Him! As God is my foundation, I get to stand on solid ground. It is such a beautiful gift! 

Below is a video I put together when I lived in Mozambique. As a reminder of where I am going! I will be gone until the 21st November. Pray BIG!

Untitled from ruth Alexander on Vimeo.

Faith….

I am walking out a time of leaning on Him right now. He is teaching me about Faith and Hope in Him.

How well do I really know Him? If I knew Him, would I doubt? Would I really question Him?

I am waiting right now to see if I can leave the country to go on my mission’s trip to Mozambique. So many questions are going through my head. Did I hear God correctly? Did I get the timing right? Should I quit my visa process right now to go on the trip, and start again? So many questions going through my head, that if I allow it, can steal the freedom of walking in His fruits of His spirit. 

When I sit at His feet He talks to me about hope. Hope that all will fall in place in the perfect timing. That He is a good Father that loves me more than I could know. He whispers in His still voice that He never fails us. He never leaves or forsakes us.

He sits with me and talks to me about Faith. He takes me to Psalm 25 and gets me back in line. Reminding me who is in control, as I feel helpless. I realise how that is exactly the best place for me. When my only plan is Him.

‘In you, Lord my God,

    I put my trust.

² I trust in you;

    do not let me be put to shame,

    nor let my enemies triumph over me.

³ No one who hopes in you

    will ever be put to shame,

but shame will come on those

    who are treacherous without cause.’ 

I am still $1000 short for the trip, yet I know that He is so faithful. I don’t have a ticket yet, but I know He is my provider.

I have to do it up to 100 times a day. But He is teaching me how to give my worries and disbelief to Him. He reminds me not to give up Hope prematurely. He reminds me that even if things don’t work out to my desires, He is still good. Just as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego claimed. He is good, even if we get burnt up. God is still good.

A friend of mine lead our devotional time at the gym this last week, and lead a wonderful revelation of God’s love for us, in a very simple way. He pointed out the reason of why artists put their signature on a painting…because they want to show it’s theirs. They have just created a master piece, and they would like to reveal it.

What did God put His face on? What did God reveal as His?

Us.

He made us in His image. He is so proud of us and allows us to walk as His children daily.

If I was to doubt that God hasn’t got the best for me, then I am doubting that He will never leave or forsake me. I know that He has. I know that whatever His plan for me is to be, that is the best.

I know God wants me to go to Mozambique for a visit. I know that He has spoken Joy, Freedom and healing in this trip. I know that He is good.

Please continue joining me in prayer for my visa and finances. For any mountains in the way that would stop me from going, gets moved, according to His will.

Children from our community having a creative night in the woodshop

The Simplicity

The alarm goes off at 5:30am and I struggle to get out of bed. It’s still dark and my mind doesn’t instantly click into gear and work. It’s my morning to serve in the coffee shop, so this means my hair goes up and I need to find my trainers as I can’t wear open toed shoes. I find my We Will Go shirt and run out the house.

I drive down the quiet streets, that normally has so much life in them. The sun begins to rise, and I smile, thanking the Lord for His beauty. As I get to the coffee shop I look at the litter that has been dropped outside during the night, and pick it up on my way in. As I go in, I do the needed things to get ready for the day. Make the coffee, turn on the machines, get the ice, put out the chairs. The coffee shop (The Urban Sip) is not here to make money. In fact, all the money goes into giving people jobs and into running the business. The Urban Sip is here for ministry. As I prepare and open-up the shop, I am preparing a place for people to come and hear about Jesus.

Through-out the morning people start to trickle in. It is raining outside as we get a day of cold weather from the hurricanes. So, the Urban Sip becomes a good place to get out of the weather and rest for a moment.

I have a homeless person come in and tell me all about their meetings that they have today about potential housing. I give them advice, pray with them and see them on their way. I have students come in and make the most of free wifi to get their essays done. I have another homeless person come in to take a nap, as they haven’t slept all night. I have one of our young men from the gym come in, just to ask for prayer. He wanted to just get through the day, mentioning that he heard God for the first time. He wanted to clarify that it was God and that he wasn’t going crazy. So, I talked about reading the bible and learning the truth from there. You won’t hear anything from God that doesn’t line up with scripture. We talked about worship and I showed him and his friend some YouTube clips of worship. I had missionaries come in and send emails to connect with colleges in the area, about serving together in the Jackson area.

The man who fell asleep woke up and talked to me about his struggles. He is unwell and is getting worse news every time he goes back to the hospital. He then doesn’t want to go back and has a real fear with hospitals. I talked about my same fear, and how God has come in every time I have had to go. We prayed together.

I don’t think we sold a huge amount of coffee through-out my morning there. But, God moved in so many lives. He reminded people who they are and what He was doing in them. He showed people how much they are loved and seen by Him.

I am about to go to Mozambique in November, and I am excited for God to do the same there. I have seen God move anywhere I am in the world, and I am learning the simplicity of it all. God wants to simply walk with you.

Even there your hand will lead me, and your right hand will lay hold of me. Psalm 139v10

He wants to have a say in each moment, of each day. He wants to have a father/son relationship. He wants to be your friend. He wants a two-way conversation, not just for you to give Him a list of needs and then be on your way. He wants to be there when you have housing and when you don’t. In the good and the bad times. 

I am learning that He wants me to have Him as the 'Go To'. To choose His joy when it doesn’t make sense. To listen to His guidance with each step. To have faith, even when it looks impossible through my eyes. 

To know that He rules and reigns in it all.

I am excited to learn more through my time in Mozambique. God has given me three words for this trip. joy, freedom and healing. I feel like the joy and freedom comes along with the healing. This excites me and gives me the expectation that He is going to move a lot in my life, and other people’s lives. I am excited to see my babies again! To minister to the beautiful Mozambican ladies who look after the children day by day. To have fun as a team from We Will Go and to encourage and build one another up, as God moves in us all. We will be going into the ‘Bush Bush’ to do some outreach, as well as connect with the students who are currently in the mission school.

Look Ms Ruth, I spelt your name right! 

Please pray with me as I get closer to this trip! Pray for my heart to be open to all He wants to do in this lead up to me going for 12 days! If you could pray over that dates I am gone too, the 6^th - 18^th November, that would be beautiful! For finances for the whole trip, as well as the everyday life here. God is wreaking me with how faithful he is in every moment, and I love how each one of you who pray are part of this!

Thank you again for all your faithful prayers, kind emails and messages cheering me on. You are all amazing!